I sent a text to each grandchild expressing my excitement in anticipation of our Christmas holiday together. The high school senior responded very sweetly, but ended his text with this comment “my last Christmas is coming very quickly”. He is in that bittersweet space, anxious to be on his own at college and nostalgic for the comfort and security of his childhood. Hopefully my response to him was sensitive to his conflicts. But his text started me thinking about our “last Christmases”.
Christmas is a very tradition heavy holiday. A huge percent of the cards sent, depict a Christmas none of us every experienced—snow, carolers in old English dress, horse drawn sleds, a roaring fire in a holly draped fireplace, perfectly decorated desserts.
We all have our own family traditions that add to the sense of consecutiveness—Mom’s monkey bread for Christmas breakfast, John’s vintage Santa and tree from his parent’s home. Carols and holiday show tunes are not played until after Thanksgiving but then constantly.
The cliché, “change is the only constant in life” is the message I wanted to tell my grandson as he readies for his “last Christmas” at home –as a full time resident not a visiting family member, as a child not as a college student, and without his clothes in a suitcase and a return plane ticket on his phone.
Change can be big or small; with a huge impact or barely noticeable. I forgot to hang Grandma Van’s glass beads on our tree and no one noticed but me. There will be no Runts candy in a stocking this year. I finally realized that at almost 50, Runts aren’t his favorite candy! No one is looking forward to them so they won’t be missed.
Some changes are forever impactful and sudden. A family member won’t be there and it hurts so much we are tempted to not celebrate Christmas.
Some changes come gradually, the woman who cooked too much, who decorated in excess, who sent boxes of cards and letters slowly has to give up something each year until she only observed others at gatherings and celebrations.
Some changes are due to world events— COVID that keep us isolated, a recession that limited our gift giving, a war that sent sent a family member away on active duty. As I listened to the news of tornadoes in Louisiana, I thought of all the families whose Christmas preparations were blown away in minutes.
Some changes are joyful-. A new baby, a new girl friend that becomes a daughter-in-law, a new home to decorate differently, a new job in a chosen career . And there are many small changes that are fun–a new recipe that becomes a family holiday tradition, a new game .
No two Christmas will be the exact same. I packed up the kids and went to Grandma’s home with my extended family. Now we pack up and go one kid’s home. Due to location, etc it will be rare to have both of my children families together at Christmas. (But we have FaceTime, a big change in technology and communications.) Now I am witnessing my kid’s families grow up and change.
I have celebrated seventy plus Christmas seasons. There have been different locations- different cities and a farm (without central heating), mostly in the US but one in a third world country and one in a hotel in Mexico. I have had Christmas card snow and 80 degree warmth. I have been with all my family and also with only my husband. I have been able to give much and limited to giving very little. I have mourned during the holidays and I have enjoyed cuddling babies. Each one has been special in some way and each has been Christmas. So my love, this is your “last Christmas” but it is also your “first Christmas”. I hope you can enjoy all the traditions observed each year but that you can also recognize change is inevitable.
Thank you for checking out quiltersatfirst.com. We are already looking for new patterns, checking our stash, buying new fabric, piecing and quilting. Watch the blog and FaceBook for many, many photos in 2023!
I found this on the internet—-
Merry Christmas and a Peaceful New Year!
Quilts, Etc. 